Just a Dream
by GregRox
Summary: You close your eyes and you can still see her lying there in the pool of her own blood, struggling to breathe. And you can’t help but wish that this whole thing was just a dream. Sam/Jules. Spoilers for Between Heartbeats.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did it definitely wouldn't have been Jules getting shot.**

Title:

Author: GregRox

Spoilers: Between Heartbeats

Pairing: Sam/Jules

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It was like it was all in slow motion. Your legs couldn't move fast enough down the stairs. She was out in the open, vulnerable. All it would take was one shot. And you had the shield in your hand. But as soon as you heard the rifle fire you knew it was too late. And you saw the bullet go through her armour, like a knife through butter. She fell slowly, gracefully… and for a moment you were frozen. But then realised what was happening and your legs began to move again.

You forgot about covering yourself because she was in danger, because she could be dying. And if she did die… it would be your fault. Then you saw the pool of blood… and you knew that no matter what happened. Whether she lived or she died… it would be your fault for not saving her, your fault for not protecting her.

Your voice sounded strange to your own ears… And hearing the words that no cop ever wants to hear leaving your lips, knowing that you were talking about her. That made it sound even stranger. And where was everyone else? Weren't Wordy and Lewis supposed to be behind you? And it seemed like it had been hours since you ran ahead, hours since you heard the shot. But it wasn't.

Her blood was on your hands… literally. And you could hear her struggling to breath and it killed you inside. It should be you lying there, struggling to stay alive, not her, never her. And then you heard the bullets ricocheting off your shield. If help didn't get here soon then both of you might not make it out alive…

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There was too much blood. It was on your hands, it was seeping through the blanket covering her. And she was so pale. You were holding on to her hand as if the simple movement of squeezing her hand could keep her alive keep her with you. You didn't care who saw, or what they thought. You didn't care if you lost your job, as long as she was ok.

But then you had to let go. And you knew you couldn't go with her. They couldn't afford to lose another person. Not now. They had to get this guy. And soon. Before someone else was hit, before someone else was in danger of losing someone they couldn't live without. Like you were right now.

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You could see him right now. The son of a bitch who had shot her. Who might take her away from you forever. And your finger was on the trigger. Just itching to press down half an inch, half an inch that would take him away, make him feel the pain you were feeling right now.

But you couldn't. Ed was in your way. And as much as you wanted to, as much as you wanted to blow that sick bastard away you couldn't risk hitting your teammate. You were somewhat grateful that no one else had a clear shot either. As much as you wanted Ed to be safe you wanted to be the one to take the shot that would blow that asshole off the face of the earth.

It doesn't matter that you know his best friend is down there, none of it matters. That guy is no longer human to you. He's a monster. A sick, murdering, piece of shit. And you could care less where he came from or what he went through. All you know is that he's not going to be leaving in the back of a squad car. He's going to be leaving in a body bag. And you'll make sure of it.

You hear Sarge ask for a solution. But you still don't have one. You still don't have the shot.

"I can't get a clean shot he's behind the pillar. Ed you gotta move forward." You can hear yourself say. But ever since you saw Jules go down you haven't felt like you're 100% there. It feels like half of yourself is pointing that rifle and the other half of you is somewhere else.

And then suddenly you saw it. You had the shot. And your finger moved that half an inch… and then you felt the recoil and saw the bastard fall to the ground. But you don't feel better… you still feel like its only half of you that just killed a man. And you close your eyes but all you see is Jules. And that pool of blood and the hole in her side.

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You know you're the last person to get to the hospital but you just don't care. You wish you could have been here earlier but you're here now and all you want is to see her, see that she's alright and just get that stupid image out of your head that you see every time you close your eyes.

You catch a glimpse of her through the window outside her room and you pray to god that she isn't as pale as she looked in that short second. And you pull the door open only to realise that she's even paler than you thought. You hear Sarge leave and you're eternally grateful because you know how close you are to breaking down right now. You hear the steady beeping of the heart monitor and you know she's alive but it doesn't shake that feeling in your gut that she's not going to be fine.

"Hey Jules. Hey sweetheart, how you doing?" You manage to choke out, just in case by some miracle she can actually hear you.

"Got here as fast as I could Jules." You pause to breathe, because it's all you can do to stay calm right now, "I'm so sorry. I should have protected you… Oh... Jules…"You keep talking because it makes you feel better… but only slightly. Nothing could make you feel less guilty right now. And maybe by some miracle she'll answer you. Then you feel that one tear slide down your cheek.

And you hear the machine beep. But she doesn't answer you. There's only silence. You close your eyes and you can still see her lying there in the pool of her own blood… struggling to breathe. And you can't help but wish that this whole thing was just a dream.

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**Wow that was like super hard for me to write. That whole episode was hard to watch. Thanks and please review. **


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